Why I took a violin sabbatical.
Can I tell you the story of why I didn't pick up my violin for over a year?
Can I tell you the story of why I didn’t pick up my violin for over a year?
I struggled with chronic pain my entire time as a collegiate violin major.
That’s not an exaggeration. Two months before I started college, a dormant tendon injury in my right arm flared up after an impromptu game of Ultimate Frisbee. Suddenly, I was back in physical therapy rehab and on limited playing minutes for the first two months of school.
(And sadly, I never played Ultimate Frisbee again.)
A few months after I “recovered” from that injury, I started having nerve pain. Have you ever put your arm into too-hot water and felt like your arm was burning?
That’s what my nerve pain felt like. And mysteriously, it would show up in my right arm one day, my left arm the next.
This was the start of my journey with chronic pain.
I’ll spare you the details, but essentially, I was in and out of doctors’ offices, physical therapy rehab, and massage/bodywork appointments for the next three years.
At the start of each year, I would promise myself that this was the year I’d figure out the solution.
But while I got a few answers and would occasionally feel relief–including finding out how to reduce an immune system reaction that caused my nerve pain–I couldn’t figure out how to play without pain, tension, and fatigue.
Even in graduate school, I was in survival mode in every lesson, rehearsal, concert, and practice session. Within a couple minutes of playing, my left shoulder would be a mess of tension. It was a race against the clock to see if I could successfully make it through my repertoire before my arm muscles got too tight for my fingers to function.
The clock was also winding down on my time in grad school. No one wants to graduate with a performance degree and not trust their body to be up to playing a full gig. It was emotionally exhausting having to explain over and over that I wasn’t getting better. I constantly felt like a failure.
In the end, it was really easy to make the decision to stop playing. We were in the first summer of the pandemic, and all of us were figuring out what to do as musicians and teachers. I was also physically and emotionally burnt out and about to start the exhaustive process of writing my doctoral dissertation.
I knew that somehow, the way I was using my body while playing was causing me pain. But I didn’t know what it was exactly, or why none of the rehabilitative approaches I was trying or the experts I was working with were making much of an impact.
So the only thing that made sense was to give myself time to rest and relearn how to play.
My violin stayed in its case for over a year. I wrote my dissertation, met with my Franklin Method teacher online to work on rehabbing my body, and worked at a pipe organ shop to help pay the bills.
(And to be fully transparent, I’m grateful to have had an encouraging partner at the time who financially supported me through that year. I acknowledge that not everyone who would benefit from taking a sabbatical will have this option.)
Coming back to the violin continues to be a long journey. I started playing again a little bit in lessons once I started my private studio but have only performed once professionally in the past four years. I’m happy to take things slow while I continue to relearn how to move.
Once I completed level one of Franklin Method certification, I had the tools and vocabulary to delve deeper into my own healing process. Movement rehabilitation is a bit like an onion–you keep peeling back layers of tension, muscle compensations, and unhealthy movement patterns until you start finding the core issues.
With my own mentor, I’m finally rehabilitating some fundamental issues with my hip joint, upper ribs, and spine. It’s actually been a cathartic experience to recognize and kinesthetically feel my unhealthy movement patterns–I have proof that this hasn’t been all in my head these years, and I have the skills to start teaching my body how movement can feel in those areas.
This is still a long process–as I wrote last week, movement rehabilitation takes time, lots of repetition, and a willingness to rebuild from the foundations.
But I believe it’s worth it. I can’t wait to play my violin with new freedom and ease, and to help others through their challenges with injury.
If you’ve made it to the end of this long story, thank you for hanging in there with me! Hopefully, you have a better understanding of why I’m so enthusiastic about injury prevention and the Franklin Method. I really believe this work is transformative.
If this is the first time we’re meeting virtually, hello! My name is Erika, and I’m a violinist, teacher, and certified Franklin Method Educator. My mission is to rethink traditional teaching approaches to help musicians play with confidence and ease. If this resonates with you, here’s how you can connect with me:
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